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A Dozen Red Roses

by Mark Jones

Disclaimer: These characters belong to Chris Carter, Ten 
Thirteen productions and a number of other people I may
forget to mention. I just wrote it for a love of the story
and characters. And their love for each other.

 

Scene: after Fight the Future, Mulder and Scully continue to search 
for the truth. Their renewed vigor, fueled by Mulder's discovery of 
the aliens in Antartica, drives the search to new heights. Here, 
Mulder and Scully have located an individual who they have linked 
with Krychek, but the words turned nasty when the suspect pulled a 
9mm and fired shots at the agents, which are in pursuit.

Mulder rounded the corner of the warehouse, gun drawn and ready to use. Armando was out here somewhere, and the sonofabitch had the information as to Krycheks's whereabouts. They had been chasing him for 5 minutes now. Scully had split off on her own, and they were now playing a dangerous game of cat and mouse with the man.

He heard rapid footsteps hitting the metallic grating overhead. Much too light and quick for a man... Scully. He ran down the isle he was on and mounted the steps at the end, coming up just after Scully had ran past the steps. He took off after her, heading for the back exit from the warehouse. He saw ahead the light of day as the door opened and closed; Armando was outside. Scully went through the door, Mulder mere steps behind her. He burst out of the door... to see Scully raising her pistol at Armando. A shot fired... and Scully went down!

"Scully!" he yelled, bringing his 9mm up and pulling the trigger at the smug Armando. Bullets ripped into Armando's chest, his body spasming as bullet after bullet impacted him. The red finally passed out of Mulder's eyes as he realized his weapon had pulled back to the locked position- he had emptied every bullet into Armando, who was lying on the ground in a pool of his own blood. Realization hit Mulder as he cast his eyes to the ground where Scully lay.

"Scully... oh, Scully, no..." he said as he knelt beside her. She had a puncture wound in her chest, and saw that she had a lot of blood on her. She was conscious, yet looked up at him with a distant look in her eyes.

"Mulder?" she said. Mulder reeled inside as she said that, blood came out of her mouth. He knew something was wrong.

"Don't worry, Scully, we're gonna get you to a doctor. You're gonna be all right." he assured her. She winced in pain, the sight if it bringing tears to Mulder's eyes. She looked up at him again, another spasm of pain wracking her.

"M... Mulder..." she said weakly. He leaned forward to hear her better. She seemed to manage the energy to reach up and cup his cheek. "Mulder?" she said, in between grimaces. Tears began streaming out of her eyes as she struggled to pull him closer. "I never told you... I love you." Mulder's heart shook as she said that. Or perhaps it was the fact that after she said that, she was wracked with more pain, and then went still. Her hand fell away from his cheek, and Dana Katherine Scully was quiet. Mulder began to shake his head.

"No. Scully, No!" he feverishly felt around her neck for a pulse, for anything. There was a weak one... but... no. There was no pulse. She was dead.

Fox Mulder sat there for a long time, cradling her head, kissing her forehead and crying for the loss he had suddenly suffered. Words on this topic would take a long time to come from him, and when he finally got up the fortitude to get help, the backup arrived to find Mulder in his car, still cradling Scully right where she belonged... with him. Even in the ride to the hospital, he would not leave her. He should never have left her. And with every tear he sheds, he thinks about her and that fact.

----------

The funeral was very nice, Mulder thought. Everyone showed up. Scully's family, of course, Skinner, other agents, Mulder even thought he saw Cigarette Smoking Man in the back there. Today he had no desire or energy to worry about that. As far as he cared, it was all over. With Scully's death came the death of the X-Files. Throughout the service, Mulder could hear the priest saying the words in the funeral, but all he could think about was Scully, and how much he missed her.

"You don't really realize what you've got 'till it's gone" someone told him once.

How true that was. Mulder, however, did not shed a tear at the service. He held it in, his emotions to be shared only with her later.

----------

On a dismal evening several days later, Mulder was coming out to Scully's graveside. In a formal inquiry that morning, Mulder had been cleared of any wrongdoing and put back on full duty. But duty meant nothing to him. As he arrived at the graveyard, he wondered, what will I do now? My job here is done. He stepped up to her plot. They had no stone yet, just a simple marker saying "D. Scully" How appropriate, he thought. She would approve. He shivered involuntarily as he felt the first drops of rain his his head. He nodded... the outside would reflect how he felt on the inside. He kneeled down by her side, looking down, his eyes already tearing up. He sat his gift for her... a dozen red roses on her grave.

"I'm... sorry... I couldn't give these to you earlier." he said to her. A single tear ran down his cheek, with more following. "You know, we worked together for a long time, Scully. And... I never did get to tell you how... how I felt." Mulder paused for a minute, as his crying now overshadowed any talking he was trying to do. It was raining heavily, and the drops hit her grave, mixed with Mulder's tears.

"I'm so sorry, Dana. I didn't get to tell you. I love you. I always have. And I always will. Oh, God! Why did you take her from me?" His bawling now fought the sound of the spring shower. "Please... please... don't leave me here. Scully... I need you... please...." Mulder collapsed forward, his face buried in her plot. "Don't go... I want you back... God, take me, take me instead, just don't take her from me...!" He cast his teary eyes up to the sky, which answered with more water for him. "Please? Oh, please... bring her back... just give me the chance to tell her! I just... I just want to tell her..." A half an hour later, Mulder was still crying, soaking wet. He thought somewhere down inside maybe if he caught pneumonia and died he'd get to see her again... He leaned over her plot at the spot approximately where her head would be, and kissed the earth she was in.

"I love you," he whispered. "and I'm going to miss you." Again, he was lost for words. All this time, all these opportunities he had with her. Three simple words was all he needed. And now he will never get the chance to tell her. This was the saddest part that would forever haunt his soul.

----------

Mulder's dreams were a mixed storm of thought. He did not think he would ever get to sleep, or for that much want to again. The world was black and white now. All the color had left his life with her beautiful red hair. His loss was indescribable, and infinite.

"Mulder?" her voice said. He turned, they were at a... a pool. She was sitting at a lounge table with a large yellow umbrella over her. She wore a white knit top and khaki pants, and a pair of those dress flats she always wears.

"Hi." she was peppy, getting up from the table. She ran over to him, stunned as he was to see her. She wrapped her arms around his waist and hugged him tight. "Are you all right?" she asked. Mulder could only manage a nod. "Things are ok here." she continued. "Everything is pretty quiet and laid back, I've gotten to sit and drink lemonade with my dad." She pointed to where the Admiral was, talking to some other Navy men across the pool.

"Scully...." he began. She looked up, pressed a single finger over his lips.

"I know, Mulder. Fox." she said quietly. "I know, and I always have."

"I love you." he said. "I had to say it."

"I know you do, Mulder." She hugged him tight again. "I've always known it." Tears now streamed down his face as he held her, his chin resting on her head.

"Oh, God, I miss you," he told her. "I miss you so much..." he said as he woke himself up crying. The realization of the dream was there, but so was the realization that this was reality, and she wasn't. He cried and cried, repeating "I miss you..." over and over.

----------

Mulder managed to make himself go into work that morning after his alarm went off. AD Skinner had given his as much time off as he wanted, but Mulder thought it may be better if he did go ahead in, it would take his mind off what had happened. He had come in, gotten a danish for himself, which was just sitting there, opened a file and was busy reading it when the door opened. Dana Scully walked in.

"Morning." she said, sitting down at the desk across from him. She became a little self conceious when she noticed Mulder staring at her with his mouth hanging open. "Mulder, what is it?" Mulder caught himself shaking as he rose from his chair. He got up, went over to the desk where she was. She looked so real... was this another part of his dream? He discreetly pinched himself on the leg as he walked, making sure he was awake. He was... and the excitement within him flew as a little spark of hope flared up. He reached out to her with a shaking hand... she didn't move or try to move away, Scully was trusting of him but curious as to what he was doing. His fingertips touched her face, and Scully was amazed to see tears begin to flood out of his eyes when he touched her. She looked at him puzzled, and rose.

"Mulder? What's the matter?" she said.

"You... you here. Now..." he couldn't find words, no way to express the joy he had right now... "Yes, I've been here for a while now... we work together, you know..." she responded. Scully suddenly found herself picked up off the floor by Mulder and pulled tight to him. He had never expressed himself to her before like this, why was he crying and acting like this?

"Oh, God, thank you... thank you... you're alive..." she heard from his head, buried in her hair. "I thought I had lost you..." She felt his kiss her head as he pulled her back, looked at her beautiful face. "It was all a dream. Oh God... it was all a dream!" Scully had never in her time with him seen Mulder so genuinely overjoyed. She managed a somewhat perplexed smile.

"Mulder..." she started. He shook his head.

"No, my turn. All this time we've been together. We've never really talked. I have to tell you, tell you how valuable you are to me, how much I need you. You really do make me whole." He paused, his voice growing quieter, like someone else may hear it and steal his words before she could hear them. "I love you, Scully. I'm... I'm in love with you. I have been for a long time, and I'm sorry I've never told you..." Scully's perplexed look melted at his words. Combined with his tears, Scully realized he must have had an amazing dream. He cupped her cheeks in his hands. "I'm sorry I never told you."

This left Scully almost speechless. But she didn't care. She had heard what he said. "Oh, Mulder. I love you, too." Tears ran afresh from both of them as he pulled her close, vowing never to let go again.

"I have a gift for you..." he began.

 

 

Thanks for reading this... it's a very special story for me.

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